Sunday, March 4, 2012


We went out to play pool today and enter up in a discussion about logistics and adventure. My friend just got a job offered in Houston. My friend’s don’t think he should take the job because he would be struggling to make it on the salary and cost of living and blah blah but I said he would have to suffer now to reap the rewards later would be the right call. I think that fear is the biggest thing holding my friend back. I understand the debilitating power of fear. I also understand that you can’t achieve greater things if you’re not willing to sacrifice it all. I feel like out of my friends I am definitely the risk taker and to my credit I am the one who has done more of the living. They enjoy the routine and consistency. I don’t mind that. I genuinely believe that all of our lives needs a certain routine or you are just living in a constant chaos. My friend said he thinks I am pushing the notion of this being a missed opportunity. He said opportunities must be thought out regardless and logistics must be made. That’s all fine and dandy but what about the human experience. What about living life? I am at a point in my life where it almost seems back to square one. I make less money now than since HS. I really don’t have any immediate plans for the future. I am enrolled in Bible Baptist College and plan on attending in the fall. In May I will have my associates degree but I am just leaving a lot up to chance. I am leaving everything to fate. I haven’t been the best of planners but I know when it comes down to it my plans never go accordingly. I am not saying why bother but it for me at least it seems that way. On another note I think I am starting to get lonely again. I hate that feeling it creeps up on me every so often. Now is one of those times. I really want a ride or die chick. Someone who can be with me through the thick and thin. I know that is asking for a lot and I’ve said I want to just work on myself but I still got feelings damnit. I just got to keep doing me and see what happens.

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