Saturday, August 30, 2008

God I love Christian Women

So I was in a sour mood last night and decided I needed to have a drink. So as I am there I see people that I have seen before and then I see a crazy 46 yr old southern woman from Virgina. At one point in the evening she tried to baptist me in the name of the lord. This of course was before she was prophetic about my future. Eventually we end up talking about her boyfriend or fiance or something or another. She mentions to me how he cheated on her once with a 24 yr old woman. I of course asked if she ever cheated on him. She immediately responds no. She said she couldn't. I begin to feel the inner ant man channeling his godlike ability of persuasion as he need to fulfill that self gratifying and self indulgent personality that ant man is. So I said to her you know the concept of being in a monogamous relationship is a man made notion. That in fact it goes against our very human nature. She undoubtedly agreed with me. So then the next thing I said to her was that there's nothing wrong with succumbing to your inner most inhibitions. She immediately made out with me sucking on neck and shoving her tongue down my throat...very raunchy. We banter a bit when she eventually offers me to come back to her place were we have freaky sex then I end up walking home after wards smoking 3 cigs along the way.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dirty Dirty Craigs List

So its no secret that I am a very crazy individual. From time to time that leads to misadventures and dirty fat sex with strange women. So I put up a craigs list ad seeing what kind of women would respond to these things and bam I got a couple of responses. One woman which shall remain nameless came on strong and I bit. She asked me to come over 2 nights ago to share in a peace blunt. What can I say I am a weak man when it comes to my vices.
So we smoked and it was a delicious time of mental confusion and pure and utter bliss. Next then I know I'm making out with her and licking between the 2nd and 3rd neck roll it tasted of old leather and meat. It was splendid did I mentioned I was high out of my mind. Of course shes like no no we cant have sex within the first 20 mins of knowing each other. At this point I start to play her vagina as a violin and then shes like do you have a condom. I said indeed I do. Then it was on. So after the sha bam put my flip flops on and waddle out.