Tuesday, July 21, 2009

No man is an Island

I guess the best way to start this is that no man is an island. How many times have people heard that? Hell how many times have I said it? I hear I am a brilliant man all the time but after three conversations never. That happen to me tonight and it was a revolutionary thing. It was a revolutionary thing because someone asked me what is that I could do right now to make me happy and my response was, “Be the voice of my people.” They immediately responded with jubilation. They said that God told them to ask me that question and that would be the response. It was weird everyone knows my thoughts on the big man upstairs but lately spiritually talk has been coming up. Whether its friends converting or myself converting its still has been a reoccurring theme. I don’t know if eventually I am supposed to find a righteous path and all things will fall into place from it. I don’t know how to answer questions when people say , “Your smarter than this retail thing why aren’t you doing something else?” I just don’t know anymore. For years people gravitated towards me because of my personality and my ability to speak. I loved them for it. Now my life is comprised of so many different things I don’t even know where I fall into place. I have my friends trying to guide me fearful of what I will become or fearful of an early death and I mean while keep trudging along. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to be? These aren’t simple questions and people still don’t have them figured out. No one is a 100% happy with his or her life so why do I have to be at this age.
The man I spoke to tonight said my mother instilled me various traits and my grandmother’s loved hell them within me. To this I was speechless…….everyone knows the hate I have for my mother and the thought of her instilling anything in me is almost vomit inducing. Its true though I say I am everything I am for the lack of presence of my real father and I am that I am for the presence of my mother. She was a cold hearted ruthless bitch that created Anthony Dawayne Diaz. She is what she is and I am what I am. He went on to say that I am ok with who I am and I should be ok with that. That God forgives me for my actions and can see into my heart. In my heart he sees kindness and hope. I don’t normally think anything of this kind of talk but I don’t know. Something really really got to me. I am not saying it was divine intervention but it sure as hell was something. I always say I’m circling the drain but not this time not this time

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

And ill call this one Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake
The reason for the name is because of course she had multiple layers hehe. I just don’t know what my fascination with the big girls………oh yeah that’s right they are easier to sleep with. So of course I am at the local Westbrook drinking bar and I begin to scope out the joint. I see her sitting alone I figured bingo. So after walking around a bit kind of noticing her and kind of not she ends up striking up a conversation with me. Comes to find out she is the assistant manager from the big and tall store in the same outlets I work at. Go figure. The world knows me so striking up a conversation with someone in my same field is pretty easy and yet it’s terrible how Haggar has completely dominated my life. We start comparing sales figures and shit it’s just sad. Towards the end of the night she asks if she can come back to my place to watch a movie. I’m thinking wow this chick wants the Ant man or she’s really really drunk.
She comes back to my room and then she’s like ok take your shirt off and where is your lotion. I’m like wtf. She begins to massage my body and my nipples dousing her hands with lotion. I am not going to lie, felt fucking great. So then she gets all riled up and wet and shit and she’s like, “Your dick my mouth.” This is some shit I can really get behind. She starts blowing me and of course she has some jager with her. She takes a shot of jager spits it on my junk and then proceeds to blow it off. I know how fucking awesome is that. We have sex about three times. She ends up sleeping over which I don’t know what possess me not to kick her the fuck out but I didn’t. I guess I’m nice like that. Which I end up regretting cuz she fucking wetted a huge ass spot on my mattress not to mention some of my blankets. I was pissed. But you know what some good fucking sex sooo shit happens.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Abe the great

So Shaun, Abe and I are drinking with a buddy of ours down in Belmar. No public urination tickets for us this time. So we’re all having a good time and enjoying ourselves drinking bullshitting doing what guys do best. Abe as usual has been the quietist guy there not really talking just quietly drinking and what have you. So the other guys say “Hey what’s up with this guy we gotta get him outta his shell!” Shaun and I quickly respond, “You don’t want to do that. Abe is a fucking monster etc etc!” One guy starts giving Abe shots and calling him a pussy to keep pushing him on. After 6 consecutive shots Abe’s done we know he’s drunk at this point. So we all get ready to head out to the bar. We take the elevator downstairs and as we get out there’s this woman late 30’s mid 40’s standing there waiting to get on. Abe out of nowhere runs up to here and proceeds to yell in her face “HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DICK!” Then he of course starts manically laughing in her face. The lady flips out starts cursing and all kinds of shit. She calls the cops. At this point Shaun and I think nothing of it and keep walking. We’re from Newark this kinda of shit is normal to us. The friends of our friends freak out get all nervous start saying they’re going to get kick out of the building arrested and blah blah …what a bunch of bitches.