Three decent stories I can post....
1. So my cuzin and my godaughter mom pick me up for a casual night of smokin and boozin. So there hop up on weed.vikaden.and vodka. and just came from seeing the Biggie movie. So i hop in the car take a couple of pulls next thing I know were at tops diner getting some more booze. So afterward we hit another blunt then my cuz saids she needs a drink so stop at this gas station so we can get something to drink. So they go in and then ten mins later this random ass guy hops in the car said he offered the ladies 20 bucks to take him around the corner. So I'm like ok I guess and here is a piece of my convo with the guy........oh yeah he was really drunk too
Guy: So I'm not a bad guy. I'm just on probation.
Me:Oh so what are you on probation for?
Guy: Well I kinda of killed a guy BUT that's neither here or there you know.
So immediately I burst out into laughter.
2. So Abe starts begins to pee on someones car. Three gay guys walk pass and yell at Abe "YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK!"
Abe immediately yells out "It's soft! It's soft!"
3. So I'm standing there and some white lady brushes pass me. So I go "Hey I thought excuse me was a word in the english language!" She yells back, "Well if you weren't taking up all the space I wouldn't have to!" So I'm a big guy but shit this bitch is out of line. So of course I'm like, "Well yeah that still doesn't give you the right to be a huge bitch about it!" She goes, "Don't call me a bitch!" So of course I go,"BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH"
There is another story about how me and Fred fight over whether or not I have what it takes to hit a women.