the tribulations and inequities of today are erased with prayer repentance and the rising of the
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, Ephesians 4:26
Monday, August 9, 2010
My pastor’s sermon this past Sunday was about faith. It was a message I so desperately needed to hear. The devil was beating the hell into me and I responded with acceptance to a point. I allowed him to control my thoughts and enter my heart but I stop when he wanted me to act. It is part of phil 2:12 that said, “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling” Well I am definitely working it out with both fear and trembling.
I understand faith without heart is worthless but I guess what I did not realize that “faith is not apart of the Christian life, it is the Christian life.” I realize that this makes so much sense to a certain point of having the believer’s purpose to life. It is as simply as seeking God. Seeking God makes you want to transform your life and sanctify yourself. Seeking God puts in situations where your character is determined and you walk out much better than before. Seeking God makes you a better friend husband or boss. It is so simply and yet so complex at the same time. It is a great thing to reach that conclusion in your walk with God. It brings a good peace to your mind because while I do battle with sin and my emotions I know that in the end victory is assured to me. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” That all times there is a way out. There are multiple ways out when you think about the tools you have in prayer and in the bible and fellowship.
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5. The part of the passage that stuck out the most to me is “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”. I know I most certainly fail in this regard and this is the cause of a lot of my pain and suffering. Last night a young man said that my will and God’s will is the same. I had to smile and say no my friend sometimes those can be two radically different things. If we can genuinely say that every thought we have is obedient to Christ then maybe but chances are there not. We tend to make our thoughts obedient to our emotions and desires. This is where the pain and suffering comes in. We cannot discern God’s will we like to hope we can but we really can’t fully. We just pray and think and mediate and hope that we can find God’s answer in the scripture he provided us with.
Another thing we tend to do is try to be obedient to rules and people and hope that with obedience to them we create a lasting righteousness. We know through the Israelites that laws and rules do not create a communion with God if anything it helps further push us away from him. True righteousness comes from faith and in that faith is an innate desire to seek God and his word. The process of sanctification that is a result of the process is one of unending beauty. Keeping your thoughts and hearts pure is simply as following and studying scripture. Psalm 119:9 easily states, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word” I’ll end with another verse, “And without faith it is impossible to please God…” (Hebrews 611:6)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Today was a rough day spiritually and emotionally. I had a nice headache for most of the day and then out of nowhere my emotions came swirling in out of control. I have not felt this way in quite some time. I had serious thoughts on various topics the one I believe I will elaborate the most on is being an older brother. I have not been there for my younger brothers as much as I could have been. I think the fight I broke up between two brothers recently has this subject on my mind. My youngest brother seems to be doing ok but for the most part I honestly don’t know. I feel like I should call him more often. I feel like the kids I hang out with now I treat with more love and respect than I do my younger brothers and that realization today definitely hurt me. I witness to a lot of people but not my family as much as I could. My 2nd youngest brother is in rehab and I know I could be doing a lot more for him I really and whole heartily know I can. I texted my brother Dereck just to reach out to him and let him know how I felt this is the convo.
Me: Sup Lil bro
Dereck: Hey broseph, What’s going on jolly man.
Me: Don’t know man been thinking a lot and I feel I haven’t been there for u guys and I’m sorry I really am I’ve been a bad older brother.
Dereck: Man I’m thankful you’re my bro you got a life to live just like we all do. Would I like to see you more yeah definitely but you work and live in a different state not your fault man.
Me: Thanks man that means a lot for real
Dereck: Man all love, you doing all right man? how’s life?
Me: I’m doing all right sometimes I feel a little fucked up in the head
Dereck: You straight man, just do you and at the end of the day as long as you did what you had to do you can’t regret anything or blame yourself. Remember no one can fuck with what you earned and your self-esteem because it’s your self-esteem and what you think about yourself bro you dig
Me: I dig thanks D man love u man no matter what
God gives me tons of opportunities and I really need to start seizing them. I need to re-seize the opportunities God has given to me share not only God's love and grace with them but my own love for them. Most of all I do love my brothers. That is rooted in the very fibers of my heart.
Another side note. I wrote this as my status for my Aunt for her B day but it could be used for a lot of the people I know and friends I know in my life.
Happy Birthday to my lovely Aunt Delilah Fisher I think of the people I don't have in my life more often than the people I do have in my life. My Aunt is such an inspiration to me and I should never forget the influence she has had on me.
The line where I think of the people I don’t have in my life more often than the people I do have in my life touches me the most and means the most because I need to really see that the glass is half full and in the words of my younger brother…ya dig?
Sunday, August 1, 2010
My name is Anthony. I don’t know you but what I do know and what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, is that I love you. With all my heart, I love you. It is not because you are a relative of my friend but a human being. There is only one thing in this world that makes me feel that way and its God. Through his grace and everlasting love I can say that without condition because I know He loves me without condition. I know He loves you without condition. No matter what no one or anything can change that. No matter what you did in your past that is not you. You can be the man who God wants you to be starting right now. God does not care about your past he cares about your future. What will you do with your life tomorrow.
Not many people get second chances to restart their life. I know it is amazingly hard to see the good in any situation when you feel like you have been beaten for the most part of your life. Every day we wake up is a new day. Tomorrow is a day that is wiped clean of the inequities and tribulations of yesterday. Trust me I know what it feels like to have this burning sensation of anger and hate and depression. I know what it feels like to be at the very lowest of lows and feeling like you are just circling the drain. However, it is like a great sermon from my pastor, that in those moments where we are pushed into a dark corner, where it seems like there’s no turning back, where all hope is lost, it is in those moments that Jesus needs to come to mind because you think you’re a lone but you’re wrong! Jesus is with you saying get out of this corner. Jesus is saying let me light the way if it’s dark for you. Jesus is the one who’s saying there is hope and turn to me and I will not only guide you but I will give you all you need strength and patience.
I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. Another thing to remember is that prayer is one the most powerful tool a believer has next to the bible. While God might not answer every single prayer the way you want. He definitely does hears and responds to each one.
(Some of it came from a speech I heard in V for Vendetta)I hope this helps!