Saturday, November 20, 2010

So Ant's an Uncle...yay <---- complete sarcasm

My brother’s girlfriend just had her kid which may or may not be my brother’s kid. The first question I asked my dad who told me via fb chat (that I was an uncle) was whether or not they did a paternity test already. My father immediately said, “Don’t bring up the ugly.” to which I responded, “You mean the reality.”

I am just speechless and appalled that I grew up and was raised by two individual so clueless in life. That literally that them being involved in the raising of children is completely susceptible to child endangerment at every turn. They are literally idiots. I think I would have been better raised by wolves. In fact it seems that I was raised by wolves or some other kind of animal perhaps goldfish. I digress.

My biggest pet peeve is that my brother may potentially have a kid and no income and no means of self support. I am literally just fearful for his future the future of his family and especially the future of that child. I mean I know I want a family and I want kids but I am willing to do whatever it takes and however it takes to provide for my family and child. I know what life’s responsibilities have to offer. I am not an idiot. Being a husband and a father are two very serious things which I know my brother is not ready for. Having a kid is by no means a way to learn responsibility. A person should be responsible before entering parenthood. A person should have had some kinda of struggle in his or her life before they ever know what it is like to struggle with having your own kid. Damn the reality is that I am very fearful for that kid and its future. I want the best for my brothers and I want them to be the men I know they can be and the men that God wants them to be. I am tired and I feel the rambling coming on so Ill just end it on that note.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ant gets a Tat

Got my first Tattoo. Mad happy with it. Its an outline of Jersey and a sun rising and where the sun is... Newark is written in the middle. WOOP WOOP!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Ant Speaks the Word

At tonight’s Fusion I was able to preach the sermon I’ve kept in the works for quite some time. It was amazing. It was great. It made me realized you know what hey I could do this. I could become a preacher. I have to first set God at the forefront and put the blinders on and make sure my relationship is tight and unshakable with God. It reminds me of the bible verse we went over earlier this morning at bible study. John15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (NIV) If I remain in God I can accomplish anything. I may stumble I may slip but no one can take me from the hand of God and nothing can keep Jesus from calling my name. No matter how defeated I feel and how low my depths reach that nothing is as strong and as powerful as the greatest healer and resurrector of all, God. Tonight recaptured a love for God me tremendously.

I have given numerous speeches and talks and tonight is probably one of the best memories since the days of the science high walk outs. It was so great. One of the BBC girls afterward said, "Preaching is your calling." I always said I wanted to help the world and what better way to help people than to care for their spiritual well being.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Feelin Good

I am very souped for the next Fusion meeting I am going to get to present the sermon I wrote a while back. It is going to be interesting and great and nerve wrecking all at the same time. I mean I have spoken in front of tons of crowds and on tvs but never for God. That's weird to say as the words come out of my mouth. We had a great Fusion meeting tonight and just this renewed energy. Beka and Jomy have been a tremendous help with my walk with God up to this point and interesting that I am able to help them and guide them in their walks as well. Even though there are times of frustrations and desires and temptations I am glad that I never forsake him because he will never forsake me.John 10:29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.(NIV)

Everything else is going well and I am pretty solid in life all around but maintaining a strong focus on God is pretty hard but definitely rewarding. I feel like I am going into the new year with a great perspective and great outlook. The two things that I am looking forward into the next year is the possibility of coming back to jersey with the opening of the possible Haggar store and also having my associates degree by May.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Tender Warrior Quotes Cont

Initiation is the bottom line of masculinity. It means taking the lead. The lead in providing, protecting, mentoring, and befriending. It means caring for and developing our mates, out children, and ourselves. It means taking the lead in apologizing. The lead in seeking forgiveness.

Charismatic but substantive

People, events, evil schemes, disasters, catastrophes can take things away from you. Things on the outside. But no one can ever take away what’s on the inside-heart, soul, character. A man can throw it away. But no one can ever take it.

Job demonstrated something longer and stronger than patience. Shinning out of his life through the dark horror of grief and loss is what I believe to be man’s greatest strength. His highest attribute. Call it patience if you life. I call it staying power.

Remaining. Persevering. Holding fast standing firm. That’s what a man does. That’s what a man is.

“A man with the courage of faithfulness.” Robin Hardy

Job sourced his masculinity and personhood in who he was, alone and naked before God. And that makes a man out of you.

“My concern is if they don’t feel cared about, then they cant ever care about anyone else, let alone themselves. We may be creating a large number of children who are emotional misfits.” David Elkind

The calling of every man is to offer stability to a world full of chaos.
The toxin of comparison has been utterly neutralized and washed away by the sacred anti-toxin of a promise

“Lord, who can abide in your tent” “He who walks with integrity….and speaks truth in his heart. …he who swears to his own hurt, and does not change”

“Criticism and stress and troubles aren’t something exclusive to ministry, Stu they’re life” Pastor Williams

“The only reason Jesus became a man was to be man-handled.” Orville

He knows the way with me; when has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
“Lord help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I cant handle together.”

That’s why real men don’t run. Real men stay and stay and stay.

Isnt it funny how the less mature feel constrained to act “tough”, while the truly mature act gently?

No one knows the heat of a man like the man himself

The great apostle suggests that the heat of his ministry was the ministry of his heart-tender, gentle, fond, affectionate.

A real man must not be afraid to tell you who he is deep down inside.

But I am no less a man under authority, a man under orders, And if the Lord God has allowed to the unspeakable privilege of being a husband and a father, so are you.

“I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1st Corinthians 11:3

Because of men who demand submission from their wives but in turn submit themselves to no one, including God.

We cannot blame women for being frustrated because they fear the injustice of being under headship that itself is not accountable.

Some men draw a big line in the sand and say, “I aint accountable to nobody, but I am the boss of you.” That is neither right nor biblical. Yes, God has given men a certain amount of authority. But they re first and foremost men under authority. We always want to quote the verse that says, “The man is the head of a woman” But we conveniently forget the first part of the verse that says. “Christ is the head of every man!” No exceptions. That’s me and you.

Before one can ever lead, he must learn to follow.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tender Warrior Review and Quotes

Tender Warrior by Stu Weber…really really great book. I thank my friend Lidiane for suggesting it to me. It has reshaped my outlook and perspective on Christian manhood. It was a great read and really influential. It gave me this new found drive and fire for being a man and a stronger Christian in terms of relationships with the men and women I have in my life. The last chapters really hit home to me and just gave me the desire to finish strong in every aspect of my life. It almost took away my excuses that I provide on a daily basis for most of my shortcomings. The book as a whole just reinforced the notion of Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I met this Christian woman at a party over the weekend and she was amazing and I got nervous talking to her and just finding out about her. The great hindsight perspective that I have now is that no matter what or who enters my life that I know the best way to approach any kind of a relationship is through maintaining a strong Godly relationship.

The following are just some of my favorite quotes from the book. There are so many and I enjoy typing them that my next few entries are just going to be quotes from the book.

Matters of character, heart, spirit, integrity, justice, humility- the kinds of things that last.

At the heart of a real man’s vision is the health of his family.

The measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family. A real provider has a vision for marriage that bongs deeply, for sons with character as strong as trees, and for daughters with confidence and deep inner beauty. Without that vision and leadership, a family struggles, gropes, and may lose its way.

A man can get the perspective he needs to lead a family…if he is willing to humble himself and seek it from the Lord God.

“Is there anything worse than blindness?” “Oh, yes!” She responded. “A person with sight and no vision” Helen Keller

It brought security to my heart to realize what kind of a God I had, this great heavenly Planner who could look down the long ages and bring things to pass.

When you’ve lost your vision for who you are and where you are and why you are where you are, you find yourself powerless to take necessary action.

Time enough to push your way through peripheral issues and life draining preoccupations and ride out ahead of the family God has given you.

Think of the bible as the owner’s manual for your masculinity. Think of it as the mother spring. The headwaters. And drink deeply from it.

“Being perfect is a terrible way to spend your life and guys are not equipped for it anyway. It is like a bear riding a bicycle: he can be trained to do it for short periods, but he would rather be in the woods doing what bears do there” Garrison Keillor

Men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending.

A warrior is one who possesses high moral standards, and holds to high principles. He is willing to live by them, stand for them, spend himself in them, and if necessary die for them.

Like four strands of steel, they were woven together to form a cable that is the spine of masculinity. A “good man” is the balance of the four. A good warrior is also a sensitive lover. A tender warrior. A good friend is always a helpful mentor.

The physical is a parable of the spiritual. The visible is a metaphor for the invisible.

A man without initiative is not a man.

A lot of people pass through life feeling trapped in some vague sense of dissatisfaction.