Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Vision for 2014

My vision for this year is to seize and revisit life opportunities with a relentless tenacity with the prospect of lifelong equilibrium.

This is very flowery language of just saying that this year be about something. I have let some great opportunities slip through my fingers by misplacing my focus and therefore my energy. I am going to really pursue some things for myself this year. I want to look into my education past and present. I have already started on the physical but I need to maintain the commitment level that I've had in the past. Financially, I can and must be better. My spiritual must change and I must grow.

What's your vision for this year?

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Ramblings of an Insomniac

I don't think I have ever been able to sleep normally, ever since giving up the booze, I don't even enjoy the refreshing black outs that once provided me with false rest. I know that this problem isn't unique and certainly isn't the minority of issues with friends. It just aggravates the living hell out of me. It is legit like torture. There is nothing on my mind. There is no work or personal related issues that is haunting me at the moment. I literally just cannot sleep. There are several "go tos" when I hit this wall. I usually play a game of chess on my tablet, I read a little bit on my kindle, I even say the sincerity prayer to give me mind some sense of comfort. I cant even find comfort in my false delusion of grandeur dreams. All of this and still tortured with an inability to sleep. I write as a last resort. I guess this thing is a sort of open letter to the masses. I guess I really am that fucked up.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 reflection

So, its hard not to write about 2013. It was definitely a tumultuous year for me. In April I celebrated one year with my company and by June I was promoted to be in the management program. I was moved to different stores to bring my talents there and be a catalyst for change. In March I pledged to stop drinking one day at a time with the help of AA and a sponsor. Dec 23rd I celebrated 9 months sober. In June I lost the most important female role model of my life, my grandmother. It was extremely difficult but I managed to make it through that without a drink and become a stronger person as a result. I haven't been this happy and content with my life in a long time. I am very pleased with what the future holds for me. I just have to keep working and moving forward and I believe that good things will happen in my life. It won't always be easy but as the old adage goes anything worth doing isn't easy.