Hey Ant your depression is showin!

I had a conversation with a friend tonight and she asked me how I was doing? I replied back the typical living the dream blah blah blah. Normally this makes people chuckle and move on. She did not accept that answer. She said, "No, I don't think so!" I was taken aback. I said, "What do you mean?" She went onto explain how some days she see that I am really down and other days I am on fire. She said I am not living a balance life and she could tell. That if I wanted to have longevity in the fight then I needed to do more self care. I needed to put myself first before all the causes. I need to do more for myself than just hit the next protest. She expressed the point of me needing to feel outside of myself to get those feelings out. The ones that confine me the negative narrative that creeps in at time. Shit is rough sometimes. I have to say this whole conversation really made me think. I had a mix day. It was cold af. I saw my grandfather and he's losing more hair to chemo. I attended a radio show with a spoken word collective group and finally home and made beyond burgers for my little cousin and me. I am trying to find balance again. I really can get lost in doing everything and that is when I feel the worse. I am glad I had this conversation tonight. It spurred me to write this post so I can get my thoughts out so I do not leave them rumbling around in my head.