Abe the great

So Shaun, Abe and I are drinking with a buddy of ours down in Belmar. No public urination tickets for us this time. So we’re all having a good time and enjoying ourselves drinking bullshitting doing what guys do best. Abe as usual has been the quietist guy there not really talking just quietly drinking and what have you. So the other guys say “Hey what’s up with this guy we gotta get him outta his shell!” Shaun and I quickly respond, “You don’t want to do that. Abe is a fucking monster etc etc!” One guy starts giving Abe shots and calling him a pussy to keep pushing him on. After 6 consecutive shots Abe’s done we know he’s drunk at this point. So we all get ready to head out to the bar. We take the elevator downstairs and as we get out there’s this woman late 30’s mid 40’s standing there waiting to get on. Abe out of nowhere runs up to here and proceeds to yell in her face “HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DICK!” Then he of course starts manically laughing in her face. The lady flips out starts cursing and all kinds of shit. She calls the cops. At this point Shaun and I think nothing of it and keep walking. We’re from Newark this kinda of shit is normal to us. The friends of our friends freak out get all nervous start saying they’re going to get kick out of the building arrested and blah blah …what a bunch of bitches.

Don’t pee in Belmar Unless it’s in an actual bathroom

Anthony Bangs a Pregnant Chick

I had sex with Melissa again the same day she found out shes two months pregnant. What makes that story blogworthy is the fact that, at first she didn’t want to have sex saying and I quote. “Noooo, I don’t want to make it worst.” HA! like she can get more pregnant. I was over her house with some other dudes. They both were gay and decided to get it on in the other room. Melissa decided to watch them blow each other. I stayed in the room. She comes back all horny and decides she does in fact want to get it on.

Public Urination

After coming out of a bar in Belmar me and shaun decided to take a piss behind some gas station. Well of course it being south jersey and white and all. They decide they want to hold the black man down by giving him a $350 public urination ticket. To maintain integrity of the story the cops said since we were being cooperative that they were only giving one of us the ticket and luckily it was shaun.

Quotes of the Summer So far

Mfreke (to me whispering quietly and intently) “So Anthony you trying to get into some shit tonight.”

Carlos (to random path train girls) “You wanna go in between the train and I’ll finger you.”

Guido Alliance of Metrosexuals

One student group that is not found among the list of unrecognized organizations is the newly formed Guido Alliance of Metrosexuals.



I'm pretty sure you have all seen them in their little brothers' Armani Exchange shirts and the jeans they brought from DEB or Express….the women's section of course. Who can forget their personalized diesels and Italia shirts? Even in the gym the outfit remains the same.

How can anyone forget their wolverine shaped hair do with the product that they saw on the latest queer eye episode. With enough chemicals to straighten any Black persons hair.

These are the truly overt metrosexuals. Growing up Gotti rejects. But the one thing about these popped collar losers is how cool they think they are. The only thing sadder thing then them is the Indian version of the guido or the Curr-uido the curry eating branch of the guido family.

It was quite a shocker when their group did not get recognized, thus leading to one of the saddest days in the Little Italy section of University Square .

I, Anthony Diaz, took it upon myself to interview one of the young guidos, as they refer to each other. It was truly a Jane Goodall type of experience.

First, he yelled at me when I referred to the Alliance as being new and a group for the times. He then explained to me how guidos have always been around and I am seeing a modernized version of the classic guido.

I curiously asked him to continue and he explained to me what a classic guido is. The classic guido wears Adidas tracksuit; shell toes, a thick gold chain, and bushy chest hair softly rising out of his unbuttoned shirt like a ball of cotton.

I then said to myself, "The guido today is no better than the guido of yesterday."

Now as he continued to preach about the modern guido, he stated how they are similar to their idols, the Gottis (their Virgin Mary if you will).

In my mind I knew it was but a matter of seconds before he brought them punk bitches up. The Gotti's are literally one step away from being the guy behind a glory hole.




The polo's, spiked hair, perfectly plucked eyebrows. The utter joy on his face was disgusting.

It was at this point I began to notice his massive erection. I was disgusted. Then he told me the true test of any guido. The real guidos wear 2 polos with both collars popped, naturally. To show your alpha male status.

At this point I couldn't contain myself and I said, "You sir are a faggot." Then in true dirt fashion he asked me if I wanted to speak into the mic. Then he raised fists up and began to kiss his arms saying how afraid I should be to face the guns.

I laughed in his pretty face and spat on his Lacoste polo. Then he immediately fell to his knees and cried exclaiming that his parents brought him the polo from Bayonne (the guido homeland).

Normally I would laugh at such a disgrace of a man, but I actually felt bad. Seconds later I realized that they do not deserve my sympathy. To hell with those over axed smelling douche bags.

One of my Last College Articles they actually published this shit lol

Recently there has been a lot of press in the Observer about the Student Governing Association. However nothing that has been covered in the pass will shock you more than I will with this story.

Some of the Senate members may despise President Vigario's touchy-feely method of leadership. Upon the battles within the Senate, Vigario turned once again toward his let's-just-be-best-friends methods to reform the Senate from within. And he means literally. This time, his methods have gone awry. This man is sick and needs to be stop and I the great and wonderful Anthony Diaz have to decided to speak out against these lewd and crud acts.

Vigario organized a weekend retreat to a dark neck of the woods. He called this RU Leads, but in reality it was a boot camp for group hugs. Under the influence of Dean Holloman and Dean Walton, Vigario turned even more affectionate this time. The gathering reportedly turned into a mass orgy. By mass orgy I don't mean regular good ol fashion missionary style love I'm talking about things you can only see in the videos found in the back alleys of countries like Russia and Uganda. All out shrimping and Oreo eating…terms at which I wont describe at this point to get this article published.

President Vigario always spoke of "bridging the gap" between the administration and the student body. Never had the Senate thought that he meant just that: bridging the student body. Never had the Senate suspect that the president himself would serve as the bridge, using his OWN student body. While some might think I may be only speaking negatively about President Viagario I must say this the man is very flexible and the people in Cirque Du Soleil have nothing on him.

The president always urged Senators to present their "plan of attack." To their surprise, the president's "plan of attack" involved leather. Never before has Vigario's agenda gotten so personal. Never before has Vigario been so eager to "push" his "personal agenda." Onto and into others.

President Vigario had a meeting with the Provost and he made sure that the Senate coming to the meeting was out of the question.

Why, might you ask. Because another student leader was there and Vigario didn't want to complicate things. Sergio--that's right, the own Observers editor and chief--was having a relationship with our president! We now know why the paper was so critical of Mr. Vigario and his style of leadership. The whole thing was a ploy of Mr. Vigario and Sergio to manipulate the Rutgers masses by controlling the Observer and the Sga. Just to give you a certain incite into the love feast of the two they enjoyed an act called shrimping. After two men have had anal sex, shrimping, as I know it, is the practice of one man slurping the seminal fluids out of the other's sore, red butt cheeks, often through a straw. In this case however Andrew didn't use a straw though. He used a series of pulleys and small toy-like buckets.
After finding all this information out I was completely appalled and decided it was bet to keep this to myself but then I decided where is the fun in that. I think I outdid myself with this one folks.

The search for love is like anal sex with no lube its hard and rough but everyone wants to do it !

Alright, so this next blog isn’t going to attack anybody based on appearance, gender, or belief system. Shocking, I know. My next blog is going to attack all the hopeless, sappy motherfuckers who are on an endless journey to find this fallacy of “true love.” Now don’t misunderstand me, I believe that love does exist and people are entitled to find it. However, there are too many of you lame assholes out there who feel that the one goal in your life is to find this so-called love that you have a misinterpretation of. I know even more people will say, “Hey Anthony you’re only writing about this because you were hurt by someone.” While that maybe true it’s not the source for this topic. I went through my bouts of saying ohh woe is me I need to find love while listening to Music Soulchild thinking that whoever I was in “love” with at the time was the one I needed to be with at all cost in order to fill some void in my life. You know what I got a job then I got responsibilities then I got bills then I realized you know what I was a little bitch back then. I got alotta shit on my plate and either I find someone to come along this wild ride with me or I don’t. There’s no way in hell I’m making finding that person my reason for living. You cant you’ll never be happy until it’s too late or you end up wasting your youth on someone not worth it.

Love isn’t when the person who you’re in “love” with tells you that they feel complete around you, but then is hooking up with some other guy or chick in some alley next to a green dumpster. Yet you still keep them around because you feel people make mistakes and someone as important as they are is entitled to second chances. No, you’re being a fucking moron.

Love isn’t chasing after one person for years after publicly declaring that they don’t mean shit to you, but then sacrificing everything you have in your life in the hopes that this “covenant” is worth it. What you’re doing is retarded.

Love isn’t being sappy and declaring that you’re that guy who will make an honest woman out of a gutterslut in the hopes that it change her ways of fucking anything that has a penis. That’s called being a sucker. Whatever you think you’re chasing isn’t love, it’s probably called a whore or a scumbag. To them, love is having that control over you and keeping your emotions in check aka being mind rape to think that literally rainbows come out there ass.

We all know that people who obsess over love do a lot of stupid shit. We change our personalities to accommodate people; we fly cross country in some grand gesture hoping it would be taken as a token of our love. We even invoke the lord’s name praying, thinking God will honestly gives a fuck about who we want in our lives when there is so many other important things going on in the world.

All I’m saying is that this eternal obsession with “love” is ridiculous. It makes you look like a fool and an idiot. Listen this blog is written for everyone but most of the people I know are in there late 20s and younger. If you’re looking for love now and thinking it will complete you for the rest of your life you need to wake up and smell reality because if you don’t think you can make it in the world without that special someone by 22 life gets to be a lot fucking harder than that. Do I know what is love is? Not completely. I do know that I felt great after leaving a little bit of my love in this girl’s mouth last night, though.

The only thing that is Quiet about you is Your Thoughts!

This next blog is dedicated to all of you ebony princesses out there on behalf of my silent white brothers. I am sick and tired of you gold hoop with your name earring wearing, prosthetic nail having, six kids in the welfare line possessing, no shame or pride, loud black women. Yeah, that's right, I went there. I'm talking about those bitches who are always complaining about something. Either their weave is too tight, the line at local chicken shack is taking too long, or they are the women who think that they know all the right answers and want to make it known to the world. If you have read this far and already said, "this not me, this nigga ant crazy," then you are exactly one of the bitches I am talking about. Go get your GED. The thing that really upsets me is why do you have to open your mouth about everything and say it so loudly that the whole world can hear. I assure your yelling falls like silence on the deaf ears of the sailors of the boats on the middle passage. No one cares. There's no fucking reason for it. Nobody cares about how cute "yo baby" is when you haven't even passed high school. A saying that came to mind, it is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. For all you morons out there, this means shut up instead of polluting the space around me with your ignorant thoughts. The sad thing is these women think they are the shit when really they are just a pile of it. Seriously, some women need to reevaluate there lives and realize that the world is bigger than broad and market (for my Newark people). To conclude black women wonder why so many black men like big white women its simply because they know when to shut the fuck up and can take a hit better… ::bows:: Thank you and good night.

Hey baby is that Backfat or are your shoulders throwing up?

There are certain parts of the female anatomy that are quite sexy but there is one thing on a woman that is terribly disgusting and mind blowingly horrid. That something is backfat. I'm not talking about the ass of a woman or even some lovehandle action or even a loveable muffintop. The epidemic that i'm describing is a gelatinous formation on the upper back and around the shoulders. Every guy has seen it on at least one girl before while she was wearing a tight shirt or at the club when her shirt clings to her body like a drowning swimmer to a lifeguard. Anybody can see the fat bulging out over the bra strap as it yearns to be free like a Auschwitz prisoner. Even worse than the sight of the backfat is the feel of it. Now we all know i do not mind a shapely woman but their shape shoild not come with a quicksand deathtrap on there body. I do not want to lose my hand while rubbing my hands across her back. Imagine this: grabbing a handful of backfat is like immersing your hands in a bowl of uncooked ground beef and feeling around for something that you will never find. That is backfat. Overall women should do everything they can to reduce backfat and men should avoid the BF at all costs unless you like that kind of nasty shit. I already know women are gonna say but hey Anthony you’re a fat guy urself with probably a mountain chain of backfat on my body. While that may be true you must remember guys can be fat and women simply cant. Takes a rare breed of man to bone a fat chick and my friends I am that breed. Sight below for examples.