Thursday, May 24, 2012
I haven't wrote in a while and it kills me because so many different things are happening or have happen. I cant really think of anything I want to mention in particular right now. I got a new car and I am extremely happy about that even though it is not that good on gas it is one hell of a ride however. Many of my friends are going through some tremendous life altering changes and it is a beautiful thing. My grandmother started chemo and I saw her today and she did not look that well and she is still being stubborn on moving out. I hate pleading with her and I know I am being a pessimist here but I honestly find it hard to see her going through this all and making it out at the end. I am here for her when I can be and I think I need to leave it at that. That is another blog for another time. I got two D's in my online classes. I was not focus at all. The good thing is I believe they still count towards my degree so I should my associates degree anyway. That at least is my hope. I am looking at taking online classes for BBC since it would be dramatically cheaper than trying to dorm there in Sept. I also sent my old RU counselor an email asking if he thinks he could get me back into Rutgers Newark. That would be interesting to say the least. I know if allowed this time around it wouldn't be the same. My pastor had a conversation with me recently and asked me about my calling and I was so adamant about being a pastor or going into full time ministry that it seemed like a given. It was not until the FUSION conference that I felt this burning issue of pride and anger that that all changed. I am working through a lot of my issues and I have been asking people to pray that God breaks me so he can rebuild me. I need to break myself from the persona that is Anthony and just leave God in there. These are tough themes in my life but I am learning to overcome and keep my nose to the ground. I will try to write an entry on something more specific tomorrow.