Sunday, May 27, 2012
I have an interesting run so far in Jersey. The return home has been extremely enlightening. There have been times of frustration and joy and happiness. There have been times where I am sad because of my grandmother’s future. There are times were the possibilities are completely limitless because I am no long stuck in the bubble of Westbrook, Ct. I dearly miss the people. We are even coming up in 2 months a year from the passing of my friend Matt. It still has a profound effect on me. It still feels new oddly enough. Jersey is just different. People do not understand because they have been here all their life or they take nice vacations but never stay long periods of time elsewhere. Being close to my friends and family has made me feel very peaceful inside. Everyone harps on me about education stating that is the piece missing from my life and holding me back. I’m not sure if that is true or not but I do want to finish school, but this last semester just made me realize I am not a strong finisher. I am inconsistent with a lot of things and I need to change that. It is extremely tough to change. I was also so determine to go into ministry and I just feel lost right now. I don’t have that strong desire and burning anymore and I think it is because of pride issues. I have a lot going on but I am confident that at least finding the flaws are the first step to taking the right direction. I just need to literally will myself to change.