Monday, June 25, 2012

Developments of worth

I started drinking again. I went a solid two months before I started. It was a rough two months and I really really am disappointed in myself for not sticking it out. I am also relieved that I don't have this atlas like pressure on me anymore. I really dropped the ball on this one. I have gotten hammered since. Not often but twice really really bad. I let myself go and it doesn't offer any real value or merit to my life but I still enjoy doing it. At this point it is probably definitely safe to say I have a problem. I drink socially but in certain social situations I drink as if I were in an Olympic competition.  I don't know what I am going to do but hopefully a solution will come about or I will just simply mature to the point of not needing to black out each time I get into that "zone".

I hit up Audrey. My ex and did not get a response back. A couple of people know the story and are shocked that I hit her up after what we both did essentially to each other. She treated me like shit and I ratted out her and my sexual exploits to her parents. She did tell people that I forced her to have sex with me. A complete lie. I know everyone is thinking. What the hell? You hit her up after that. The answer is yes. I was genuinely curious to see what was going on in her life. She did not reply so no biggie. It was just an amusing thing to note though.

Granny's chemo is really taking a toll on her and it is very frustrating to be around. I especially hate the fact that I am working so much and don't really get a chance to be around her as much as I would like. I really need to step up my game when it comes to calling her and visiting her. My aunt is visiting from down south and taking her to all her appointments so me and my aunt get a little break. We are enjoying the freedom a little bit too much probably.

Next month I will be celebrating the passing of one the greatest people I know. It is so surreal. I will definitely devote a post to it but its scary that it is coming up.

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