Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Fighter's Mentality

It is interesting being back in Newark. There is so much going in the city that I am almost overwhelm. I always describe being in Connecticut as living in a bubble. That the world seems to pass it by because it grows as fast as paint dries. Westbrook, Connecticut in particular is probably the furthest thing from city living that I could handle. It does not make it better or worst but different. Being back in this city I witness several things in my initial two weeks. The crazy overwhelming ignorance in random public places almost seems paralyzing and confusing at times. It makes me remember the bad things and takes me to a place I have not been for many years. However, that’s not the part that I relish in. That is not the part that put an insatiable hunger to return in my belly. The city’s strength is what has called me home. The action rather than inaction is what has placed me back within the state of NJ. While I will not be here forever the return is just what I needed and how I needed it. I am here taking care of my grandmother but the purpose seems to be so much more. I have this renewed energy that I did not have in CT. The environment and Haggar itself was physically and emotionally detrimental to my future and any hope I had to be something more. Being back here, being back home something’s changed. A re awaking if you will to that trait long locked away in the recesses of my personality. The trait that was so unnecessary to the complacent life I was living in CT. That trait is the fighter’s mentality that got me out of Newark in the first place. That mentality of a must win attitude and a drive to keep pushing forward. I miss it, I encourage it, and I am it. Standing at the precipice of my mind trying to decide the next move and I can only think of one thing just keep moving forward no matter what. There is something about this city that just sets my spirit and soul ablaze and I am glad that I have returned not the same but a change man with a personality and perspective to take the good and leave the bad but a determination to effect change while I am here.

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