Well it has been about three years since the last time I typed up an entry. In the last three years I have some crazy things happen in my life. 2018 was a specifically tough year for me filled with tons of changes.
The biggest thing to happen to me in 18 was running for city council in Newark. It was one of the proudest hardest things that I have ever done. I am extremely proud of the campaign that we ran and despite what I may say I have no regrets about it. It was something that finally gave me that old spark of life again. It felt good to be working and making decisions in my best interest. It felt like an old part of me woke up again. I missed that part and I thought it was long gone. I thought there was no getting it back. I had arrived professionally and personally. I forgot what that fire tasted like and I wanted more. I will say I was sad with the results of the elections. I just felt like the numbers did not reflect the work that was put in.
The 2nd big event of 18 would be getting fired from Modell's Sporting Goods. I was with the company for 6 years and achieved a great deal of personal and professional success. I was let go partly for arrogance and partly for where the company was headed. It was tough to find a job and figure out what I wanted to do. The three months that followed were filled with a lot of lows and self doubt and hits to my self esteem. It was a battle to come out of that depression. I did not think I had it in me. I relied a lot on my friends to help me through the tough times and be there for me and without hesitation they all came through. I did not want to go back to retail but it seemed like that was all I was destined for. It was at this time where I literally almost lost all hope that my friend presented me with an opportunity.
I admit I was hesitant and fearful at first. I did not think I could do the job and survive in this completely different environment than what I was used to. I started the new job and excelled at it very quickly. It help restore some of that lost swagger. It help me realize a little more that I am what people think of me. It's just a job not a career but I can definitely use this as a stepping stone to something greater. I am a bit tired right now but I do miss typing out my thoughts. I have been hanging out with a special friend recently and the conversations we have help me develop my mental strength and help to challenge my perspectives....to think I could still learn....all of that is to say that she encouraged me to start getting it out again and thus I have.
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