I went to lunch with my grandmother and I found out that my mother has cancer and I really do not care. It is sad to say that the emotional disconnection between my mother and I has come to this point. I still love her because of the basic fact she is my mother. How much more goes into raising a child? It certainly not a matter of just simply bearing one. I am sure there is more to come from this. I told one of my brothers and father the news because my mother did not want to. She lied about her surgery and it was my grandmother who told me the truth. I want them to know the truth and maybe they can help her in this time much more than I can.
On a more positive note, I cant really ever remember a time where I heard my grandmother pray. Hearing her pray today at lunch was kind of amazing and I dont know really why. It just was amazing. I really do love her. I guess that is why I can feel the disconnection with my mother.
Anyways I am really excited for my Atlantic City trip and it looks like its going to be a good one.